stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

Worst two binge days
Second slightly better
But still
Ridiculous
Ugh
Why do we do these things?
Boo :(
Hope you're all doing better
x

the doctor didnt listen when i told her i only had 2 pills left. She told me to wean myself off them, because of the high chance of shittiness. I'm feeling that shittiness right now. I just want to binge and purge and cut and cry. I'm so so sick of this.

i had to :(
it was unavoidable..

got asked out for chinese gourmet dinner, drinks and supper with my friends.
i tried my best to restrict myself but i had so much that i felt so sick when i got home at 11.30p.m.. i don't know how many calories i had in total for that night because i failed to keep track how much food i had for dinner (maybe about 600ish but it was good ^^; ) but i had green apple martini - maybe about 300mls(?), 1/2 glass of beer and some 150ish calories of korean nibbles for supper.
then i vomited at 12:30ish  due to the effects of the alcohol..

can someone tell me approximately do those alcohol drinks contain?



its really hard to avoid all these stuffing, especially during this season..
i love my friends but at the same time i don't want to shun away just because i don't want to eat.
i guess the best i can do for myself now is to not eat too much when i'm out and to not eat when i'm alone. (controlllll~~)

does anyone face this situation as well?
help? :'(

If I'm eating around 800 calories a day (veggies, fruits and lean proteins), how is my weight going up? No exercise btw.

Woot! That makes 36 hours. I'm kind of feeling like I'm on a roll with this so I'm going to milk it for as long as possible. Next goal is 6 pm tonight. I'll be at work the whole time which is when I am most likely to munch. Actually I'm likely to munch all day any day anywhere. So I'm taking some hot tea with me and if I really need something I'll have a 180 cal protein shake. I can totally do this. I hope everyone else is doing well today. Let's keep it going! If I'm still feeling good around 6 then I'll push till midnight again to make it a full 48 hours. Woohoo for fasting! It sucks, but at least I'm not worried about any calories I've consumed. Wish me luck! Just 6 hours!

i just want to thank the people who commented on my post yesterday about my issues with my mum it rlly ment a lot because i have never talked about it before and it was truely bothering me for a while now. and thanks to all of you for this lovely supporting community u have no idea how much better i feel after talking about things here. it REALLY helps me a lot. thank you all <3
i will do a salt water flush tomorrow but am not sure is it just about drinking 1L of water with two tbs of salt and then u go to the bathroom? and is it only for one day? i am desperate to lose 3 kilos in one week. i dnt think its possible but i have to try my best!!
i will let u guys know abt the salt water flush..
how are you all lovelies doing??? <3
XXX

Current Location: Dubai

there is snow outside! and i really hate snow... but its nice aslong as i can stay in the house...!
today i feel great... maybe you nodiced that my feelings are very different every second or something:S but thats ok i gues...
i'm back into not binging.... and i feel great!
today i'm not going to do anything really... well clean up my room a little:P
and then my bf is going to cook for me... but i'll only do dinner today... so its not the worst thing...! he's just beeing sweet to me:)
i know it was the plan to not eat for 48 hours... but ah well... i'll be sweet for my bf... because i feel i can't say i don't want it... he just tries everything to be sweet...
anyway... as long as i loos a little i'm ok with not fasting... not really in the mood for that anyway:P
i'm in a party mood... and tonight i had a christmas dinner of my school... but now i'm not going but going to my bf... but that means i will eat less then i would've at school... so i feel great about it! and with the snow i feel its to hard to go to my school... because trains will be hell.
but i've a party almost everyday now... and thats not really good for my weight... so i think i'll just say i'm a little sick and skip a few of the partys:P
i'm in a christmas mood! and i did some shopping... and i feel great because i fit into a size 36 thats a S or XS (British size 8 and Amarican size 6 sais this website: http://www.clothesagency.com/cms/international_size_chart ) for everything exept the most tight skinnyjeans! (all at h&m) thats nice isn't it^^? although there was one brand i didn't fit into a british size 10...:S but that was 2 weeks ago so maybe i fit into those now... and that was not the h&m ;P

haha ok i'll end this boring story i'm just in a great mood today!

love you all
mathilde

Current Location: the netherlands
Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: radio thingies

Yeap, here I am again, eating chocolate at home. But that all is gone, sinking inside me and turning to fat. But I'm going to lose it all today. I was 63,0 kg this morning and I'm so glad the chocolate didn't kill me. Well, 150 g of chocolate isn't much but this I was quite horrified for it...

This evening I'm going to walk briskly two hours, like I promised. It's freezing -18 degrees outside....

Why do I eat when it makes me so unhappy!? This must be some kind of self-punishment, because I hate myself right now. I've gained. Majorly. It's all from binging during finals. We were "cleaning out" the room of all the food we couldn't leave over break, and it was like a license to say "fuck it, I haven't reached my goal anyway, may as well binge-eat for a few days."

I feel so ill. And I think I'm turning into a mammoth.

NF NF NF NF NF NF.

I can't do a drastic diet, because I'll be home with the folks, but I'm definitely going to cut my intake down. I like having "meals," like eating lean cuisine always works well for me because I feel like I had a real dinner even though it was only 300ish calories. Now that I'll be home maybe I can create some "frozen breakfast / lunch" for myself and portion it into 200 calorie portions. I'll probably bounce some ideas around on anorexic kitchen.